Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Horse Quotes


  • To err is human, to blame the horse is even more human.
  • A Horseman should know neither fear, nor anger.
  • The most wonderful thing about riding, is getting off and knowing you've both enjoyed it.
  • A stubborn horse walks behind you, an impatient horse walks in front of you, but a noble companion walks beside you.
  • Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse.
  • Never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly!
  • The horse stopped with a jerk, and the jerk fell off.
  • When you are on a great horse, you have the best seat you will ever have.
  • I have seen things so beautiful, they have brought tears to my eyes. Yet, none of them can match the gracefulness and beauty of a horse running free.
  • The horse you get off is not the same as the horse you got on; it is your job as a rider to ensure that as often as possible the change is for the better.
  • All horses deserve - at least once in their lives - to be loved by a little girl.
  • If you take the time it takes, it will take less time.
  • Horse's need a strong leader, not a rough and tough leader
  • A poor craftsman blames his tools; A poor horseman blames his horse.
  • In tug-of-war, the dumber animal always wins.
  • Ask not what your horse can do for you - Ask what you can do for your horse.
  • A young trooper should have an old horse.
  • No one can teach riding so well as a horse.
More from Think Like A Horse .

Friday, June 26, 2009

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Bear, The Lion & The Pig

A bear, a lion and a pig meet.

Bear says: "If I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear."

Lion says: "If I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me."

Pig says: "Big deal.... I only have to cough, and the entire planet shits itself."

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Saturday, June 6, 2009

The Maze

A wonderful Flash Player game to test your skills.

From the site:

"The Maze Game is an amazing game of skill and patience. Do not touch the walls or you will have to start the game all over. Sound effects will help find your way to the end. Try and finish all 4 levels.

Do you have the hands of a brain surgeon or do you write with crayons? Try not to cheat and use both hands. If you can finish this game, I want you to do my next operation if I need one!"


www.winterrowd.com

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Friday, October 3, 2008

Says It All Really

Click on picture to view full size.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Emissions Tax Scam - The Cost

The ETS Bill (with it's 750 amendments) was recently pushed through Parliament under urgency. Why, no one knows except Helen Clark and her minions whose main goal in life appears to be to control the masses, increase taxes by any means possible and bury us in paper work.

Of course, if we hadn't signed up for the Kyoto Suicide Pact in the belief that Owl Gore actually knows something about the environment and pushed the Global Warming bullshit (GAF = Global Alarm Fest), we wouldn't need the ETS.

Homepaddock reports on the cost of the Emissions Tax Scam here.

What to do about it.

"HortNew Zealand say it will cost the sector an extra $40 million a year and Lincoln University says in 2013 it will cost a sheep and beef farmer $36,000 and a dairy farmer $41,000 a year."

The only way I can see myself surviving on my farm, which is already bordering
on the negative profit line, is to find a way of minimising the tax as best I can.

In my PhotoShop Genetic Engineering workshop I've come up with this low emission, low carbon footprint deer. To make use of the spare room at the front, I've added the front feet of a wallaby which will be useful for the deer to manipulate things such as a pen. Giving the deer the ability to use a pen will further cut my costs by allowing the animals to fill out their own Carbon Tax Returns, thus reducing the number of staff required on my small farm to keep up with the paper work.


Of course the downside of low carbon footprint farm animals is the loss of meat production. To get around this I have genetically engineered larger fruit and vegetables, as seen with the example of the large Kiwifruit below.

The downside (there is always a downside) especially with the Kiwifruit, is the huge steel structures that will have to be built to support the vines.


A vicious circle.